Simple things. He wanted to hurt Armand, of course. How strangely exhilarating it had been (moments ago? hours? days? he isn't certain) to start a fight. Something blasphemous about it, like throwing a brick through a stained glass window. Maybe this is how it feels for a child to fight an elder, and he wonders if Louis had felt it once, if Claudia had. Or maybe it's just because it is Armand.
More little fragments of memory. Roy Travis shivering in Lestat's hands that one night while Daniel and Louis clung to each other. Standing over the two younger vampires once Lestat had gotten them inside, himself unscathed, untouched. And between these moments, that odd feeling of rejection when Armand had unhooked his psychic claws and sent him away.
A contradiction: Lestat who believes that these entanglements are all about him, the sin of having walked away from Armand long ago, and Lestat who is bothered to not be the subject of Armand's focus. They may coexist safely, because—
'I wanted you to leave him alone,' and he means Louis, but maybe he means Daniel, now, but this feels like it amounts to the same thing. Louis and Daniel, entangled together. 'He deserves to be left alone now.'
Lestat cannot quite feel his body, down here.
'You can hurt me instead,' has the promise that he would hurt Armand right back, of course. But wouldn't that be alright? Maybe worth keeping him alive for.
no subject
Simple things. He wanted to hurt Armand, of course. How strangely exhilarating it had been (moments ago? hours? days? he isn't certain) to start a fight. Something blasphemous about it, like throwing a brick through a stained glass window. Maybe this is how it feels for a child to fight an elder, and he wonders if Louis had felt it once, if Claudia had. Or maybe it's just because it is Armand.
More little fragments of memory. Roy Travis shivering in Lestat's hands that one night while Daniel and Louis clung to each other. Standing over the two younger vampires once Lestat had gotten them inside, himself unscathed, untouched. And between these moments, that odd feeling of rejection when Armand had unhooked his psychic claws and sent him away.
A contradiction: Lestat who believes that these entanglements are all about him, the sin of having walked away from Armand long ago, and Lestat who is bothered to not be the subject of Armand's focus. They may coexist safely, because—
'I wanted you to leave him alone,' and he means Louis, but maybe he means Daniel, now, but this feels like it amounts to the same thing. Louis and Daniel, entangled together. 'He deserves to be left alone now.'
Lestat cannot quite feel his body, down here.
'You can hurt me instead,' has the promise that he would hurt Armand right back, of course. But wouldn't that be alright? Maybe worth keeping him alive for.