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lestat de lioncourt. ([personal profile] damnedest) wrote2024-07-27 03:00 pm
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[personal profile] followups 2025-01-23 06:39 am (UTC)(link)
His eyes do a funny thing when Louis touches him. Wide with surprise, shifting paler despite maintaining that undead density, reminiscent of the watery blue-green he had while alive. He's pretty sure he hasn't just offered to suck Louis off (despite being intensely aware of what it can feel like, now, thanks to Armand), so this is just emotional significance.

Still. A feeling! He's grateful for the sliver of an edge being off, with the baby joint.

Daniel ends up laughing, though, when he recovers and hears that stipulation—

"You're mistaking me for somebody a lot more passive-aggressive if you think I'd offer anything out of pity. You're my friend, Louis."

(Daniel is the regular kind of aggressive.)
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[personal profile] divorcing 2025-01-23 05:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Thumb running soft across Daniel's cheek, Louis smiling at little at him. Fond. Endlessly fond of Daniel. Daniel who makes this assertion and leaves Louis to ride out the complex wash of emotion it provokes.

They're friends. Louis was so careless with him.

"I know," at last, settling on the words. "We are."

Daniel is so important.

"I'm not starving," Louis promises. "I'm just figuring out how it's gonna be now."

What kind of hunter Louis will become. If he could ever take pleasure in the kill.
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[personal profile] followups 2025-01-24 11:16 pm (UTC)(link)
"And I'm just putting it out there."

Easy, right? It can be. It can be casual, if they decide it is, and Louis deserves to have every option available to him while he figures it out. Daniel raises his hand to touch Louis' against his face, and gives him a reassuring squeeze.

"Maybe you're sick of me asking if you're doing okay, so I won't. But I give a fuck, is all. You're on my mind often. And I'm glad for that, because it means we're still here."

Not a bad or inconvenient preoccupation at all.
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[personal profile] divorcing 2025-01-25 06:06 am (UTC)(link)
His hunger shouldn't be Daniel's problem.

Louis and the long weeks where he does not, cannot eat. Louis worrying his companions. Louis, with a bowl of blood and no appetite for it.

Daniel should be spared it all.

Gently, Louis coaxes him across the mattress. He wants more than this bare slip of contact, though he doesn't yield it in the process.

"I think about you often," Louis tells him. Daniel's not the only one allowed to worry. But still, reassured: "I'm okay. I'm gonna keep on being okay."

And then, with a slanting smile, Louis reminds, "You can ask me anything. Would be a little late to start complaining."
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[personal profile] followups 2025-01-25 07:24 am (UTC)(link)
Coaxed, Daniel goes, his expression curious. Eyebrows knitted just a little as he lets Louis direct where he ends up. Are they friends like this, more contact than just a touch to his face, the occasional hug? He wouldn't mind. Some traitorous little part of him tries to flicker to life, thinking about it, but he puts that away. A hundred reasons.

(Louis is worth getting his heart broken over, yes, but still, he'd prefer not to get his heart broken.)

"Hey," he huffs a laugh, "Interview's over. This is regular, consequence-of-knowing-me blunt busybody shit."
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[personal profile] divorcing 2025-01-25 03:19 pm (UTC)(link)
"And I'm telling you the blunt busybody bullshit is okay with me."

Even when it's annoying. Even when Daniel jabs at sensitive, tender parts of him. Even when Daniel pries past Louis' instincts to deflect and hide.

It's Daniel. Daniel has permission, always. Always.

Invited now to lean into Louis, to tangle chastely over the coverlet. They hadn't done this before, not in Dubai, not in San Francisco. (Not that Louis can remember, a thing that is always a question now.) But Louis invites him in now, head tipped back on the pillow to draw in a deep breath of smoke and hold it as Daniel settles.
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[personal profile] followups 2025-01-26 07:46 am (UTC)(link)
"I'll remember you said that," is both fond and threatening.

Maybe it's not all the way new. Maybe Daniel really did lay next to him in that bed in Louis' shitty flop house of an apartment, but Louis would have been burned, and miserable, and they wouldn't have touched. Daniel would have looked at him and tried to say something helpful, and maybe they smiled at each other, mutual hostages; Louis shouldn't have picked him up, Daniel shouldn't have gone with him, but they each made a choice, and so, there they were, together.

Much more comfortable here. Stupid movie on, the last third of a rolled-up joint scored off some college kids. Lestat, somewhere on a business call, but still welcome to fling the door open and join them. Their mortal gang, asleep. (Armand, hopefully still in New York.)

"I didn't realize you were quite that hands-off with your staff."

Since Rachida through him under the bus, he might as well ask.
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[personal profile] divorcing 2025-01-26 03:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Was Daniel there?

Louis dreams sometimes, vivid distortions that might be memory might be something else. Daniel lays beside him now and there is no pain. Louis' fingers skimmed his face, now toy with the curls at Daniel's nape. Comfortable. No one is burning, no one is bleeding.

Louis yields the joint.

Whatever question he'd been expecting, it hadn't been this. Daniel has had a long time to ask after his staff. Had thought the interest passed after Armand had been revealed, after Rashid had tipped his hand.

"They're my employees," is a little questioning, words wreathed in smoke. "We have a professional relationship."
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[personal profile] followups 2025-01-27 07:54 am (UTC)(link)
Daniel takes a hit. Nearly done. They have a few more joints, and maybe they'll go through them, maybe they won't. In no hurry. They have eternity.

"Well,"

Well. The interview is over, but Daniel is still Daniel, and there's still so much about Louis to investigate. Daniel would like to be on Vampire Wikipedia and ask one million questions, forever. Did his previous canines fall out? Did his old fingernails fall out? Are you sure you can't turn into a bat?

(Are you sure you're okay? Will you be okay? Is it my fault?)

"Some of them seemed to live with you, and they know your most terrifying, compromising secrets. But you were not into karaoke with the help."
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[personal profile] divorcing 2025-01-27 08:03 am (UTC)(link)
Funny, this line of questioning.

Enough so that there is no tension in Louis' body, still loose-limbed alongside Daniel, fingers steady in his hair. Amused, and letting Daniel see it.

"We don't socialize."

Obviously.

"Does that bother you?"

Confuse might be the better word. Or no, not that. Louis is trying to work it out, to decide if Daniel finds this incongruous or if he simply objects. Or both. Or if it is the difference in their lifestyles, their age. Louis with a handful of decades maintaining staff, choosing what was necessary to organize his life and maintain his businesses, what was a good use of his fortune and what was a foolish risk.
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[personal profile] followups 2025-01-28 04:49 am (UTC)(link)
"It surprised me a little," he corrects. "Not that I think everybody needs to be as overlapped as writers with editors and assistants. This whole writing gig, it's stupid, it's a lot of disemboweling yourself creatively in public, so." Daniel shrugs. Gets a little personal. Work from home on hell.

But—

"A funny incident, somebody drunk at a Christmas party, I dunno. I figured you'd have had something. You, at least. You like people. You're not just this scary vampire. I didn't know they hadn't seen... you."
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[personal profile] divorcing 2025-01-28 05:12 am (UTC)(link)
What does Louis say to this?

Nothing, right away.

Louis lets them stay there, quiet. Daniel will wait for him. Louis knows that. Daniel will pry relentlessly after answers, yes, but he's given Louis room to breathe. Maybe led him, kited Louis towards answers Daniel sensed before Louis could parse them out.

The amusement goes. Turns pensive. Feels their breath, rising and falling in time.

"I didn't want them to see me," Louis says at last. Corrects himself: "I don't want them to see me."

A thing Louis hasn't looked directly at in twenty years, at least.
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[personal profile] followups 2025-01-29 04:47 am (UTC)(link)
He gives Louis proverbial space. No carrot this time. He just wants to know, because Louis is his friend; that Daniel is bad at not driving all of his friends away because he's annoying and over-curious and pushy is just a part of knowing Daniel. He thinks this is lowkey.

That answer gives him pause. It makes sense, but it also makes something in Daniel ache. Bittersweet. Louis deserves to be seen, but Louis' relationship with his own identity has been profoundly fucked over.

Daniel lays a hand on his chest. Returning the affectionate touch to his own face.

"Alright," he says softly. Accepting.
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[personal profile] divorcing 2025-01-29 06:18 am (UTC)(link)
Daniel, giving him a pass. Louis tips a small smile up at the ceiling.

"You see me."

And it's enough. Enough that Daniel sees him, Louis as he is now.

It's a fear Louis has sometimes, when it is him and Lestat in a room together. They are both vastly different people than they'd been, and they are still very much the same. Easy to worry that Lestat looks at Louis and wishes for the person Louis had been once. That he finds the man he is now wanting.
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[personal profile] followups 2025-01-29 08:47 am (UTC)(link)
Hey, man, it's not a pass, it's real acceptance. He can't bulldoze Louis into being completely healed with full self-esteem overnight. He'd have done it by now otherwise.

"I'd like to think I do," he says, of seeing Louis. "I hope so. I like that you let me."

Daniel cares about him so much.

And importantly:

"I see you. I like you. The person you are. The person I saw a little bit here and there, and get to see all the time now."

A careless oops, but a well-meaning one. (You know, sort of. Jeannie getting away blameless. Daniel is still curious.) Daniel loves Louis, he thinks he's great. Why wouldn't his employees think that? They basically live with him.

But of course. Louis hasn't been himself. And maybe not everyone sees as sharply as Daniel does. Which sucks, honestly. Louis deserves to be free from all of this— but he knows it'll take time.
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[personal profile] divorcing 2025-01-30 05:37 am (UTC)(link)
"An eternity, now."

Daniel will always seen him. Louis will always let him.

He's been twirling the gray curls at Daniel's nape between his fingers. Lifts his free hand to lay over Daniel's on his chest. Promising eternity. A clearer, less guilt-soaked assurance. Louis will be here. He isn't going anywhere.

Right now, he does not want to die.

"You gonna let me see you too?"

Louis could touch his mind. But he doesn't want to hunt for anything. He wants whatever Daniel is giving.
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[personal profile] followups 2025-01-30 08:24 am (UTC)(link)
The promise washes over Daniel, warm. He's been disillusioned, about relationships. Platonic, romantic, familial. They don't last. In some fucked up way, it gives him hope seeing Louis reconnect with Lestat. Daniel screws everything up, but he might not ever screw up that bad. He can hope, anyway.

(This is positive about Lestat!! Shhh!!)

He wants Louis to stick around. He wants to be his friend, for that whole eternity.

"Don't you?" Maybe it sucks trying to figure people out, after Armand. (Armand. Who Daniel promised to spend time with.) "I dunno how mysterious I am. My employees all know way too much about me. Almost as much as you do."
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[personal profile] divorcing 2025-01-30 05:57 pm (UTC)(link)
"Fifty years is a long time," is a funny thing for a vampire to say.

Louis, alive for over a century, still young enough to weigh the passing years. Still young enough to look at nearly eighty years and feel the full weight of it rather than shrug it off easy.

"I was far away while you grew up."

So much of Daniel's life is on pages and television screens, yes. But Louis cannot believe that there were not things left out. That Daniel kept things for himself as Louis tried to keep things for himself.

And maybe Louis is entitled to none of it. Maybe he should simply be grateful. (He is. He is grateful for Daniel, always.)

Maybe it is only some quiet, anxious fear that Daniel is holding something obscured and away to avoid burdening Louis with it.
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[personal profile] followups 2025-01-31 08:59 am (UTC)(link)
"Didn't feel like it. Felt like it went by pretty fast."

A blink. One minute he's signing divorce papers, handing them over to Alice, the next minute he's arguing with his youngest daughter about the car she wrecked. When did his knees start hurting? He didn't get enough time with knees that didn't hurt.

Until now.

"You'd have just watched me make stupid mistakes, over and over. You got the highlights. Everything about me that's worthwhile comes out best in writing, even if it's about other people. Probably especially thing."
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[personal profile] divorcing 2025-02-01 01:25 am (UTC)(link)
A measuring kind of quiet.

Louis doesn't like it, the way Daniel says this about himself. Doesn't like the way he devalues his story, himself alongside it.

"Saying that like you ain't listened to me making the same mistakes over and over," Louis points out.

Daniel knows everything. Saw everything, even when Louis hadn't. But Louis can't exactly boast that kind of insight. Can't pretend he'd offer anything other than his own desires, the wish to know Daniel as Daniel knows him.

Nothing else, for a beat after that. Louis' eyes trace the crack in the ceiling, the shadows cast by the light.

"I don't want you to forget it all," he whispers. "I know you gonna be your own vampire, but don't lose the rest."
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[personal profile] followups 2025-02-01 08:13 am (UTC)(link)
"You went through some shit, Louis, I was just an idiot."

Daniel sounds surprised. He is surprised. Louis had met him! Louis nearly killed him! Because Daniel was just an idiot. His own pause is one with widened eyes, trying to understand the moodiness of this topic. What does Louis think he was doing? Definitely not struggling against societal racism in the aftermath of slavery, or going across the country in the middle of a global war in search of safety and freedom, or dealing with what he dealt with in Paris.

Louis may have made mistakes, but it wasn't in a vacuum. He did the best he could, coped the only ways he was able.

"Hey." He rubs his chest, a little faux-shake. "Hey. I was a weird human. You know that. I'm not going to forget, I just... I lived it. I'm not a student at Berkley anymore, but I still was. Same with being somebody's husband. Working at the New York Times. Those things have been behind me for a long while. Doesn't mean they're gone."

His hand is still where it's laid on Louis' chest. No tremor. He's not sick and dying anymore. And Louis...

"You're still yourself. I know you are. Everyone changes, even people who aren't vampires with their heads fucked by some jerk."
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[personal profile] divorcing 2025-02-02 12:44 am (UTC)(link)
What a gift, the way Daniel gives Louis these things. He speaks with such conviction. Daniel has had a lifetime in which he helped shape the world. He used that gift to reshape Louis' entire life, shatter his present into a new form. He says these things now with weight behind them, and Louis is so fond of that quality in him. Pleased, just as he is pleased each time he takes a step back and observes all the familiar pieces of Daniel, still intact despite what Armand had done.

"I'm not trying to get you to comfort me," is a little rueful, a little embarrassed for having provoked this response.

Daniel's hand pressed down over Louis' dead heart, Louis watching the unfamiliar bloom of color in his eyes.

"Just want you to know you were always something, even when we met. I saw it in you."

Which must be true, or else Louis would have just eaten him rather than messing around with the tape recorder. There had been something there, something so immediate and vital that Louis couldn't do anything but respond to the spark of it.

And see what Daniel made of that spark, fifty years on.

It's all something. All important. Pieces of foundation that a millennia of life can be built upon. The vampire Daniel will become rising from the human he'd been.

It matters more to Louis. Louis, who cares so much about a history. Who was driven to restless disquiet when he sensed the wrongness of his own recollection, fearful of missing pieces and events wrenched out of joint.
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[personal profile] followups 2025-02-02 07:30 am (UTC)(link)
"Tough shit, I'm making the executive decision to offer comfort anyway, because you're my friend."

Cope. Not that Daniel has had friends who are just friends who hold on to each other in bed like this, but that's fine, too. He's not a university student anymore, he's not a reporter for a newspaper anymore, he's not human anymore. He's the same person, just here, now, like this, learning to do new things, with new people. Not just having superpowers. This part, this is the most special. It's beyond anything he's experienced before. Maybe he couldn't, before being transformed.

(Yes he could have he's just a closeted literal boomer, but look.)

"I know you did. I believe you. Even if I think you were a little preemptively loopy."

Teasing, along with this comfort. So curious as to why Louis thinks he's a vampire. So curious as to why Louis thinks there was anything but a total dumbass happening with 20 year old Daniel Molloy. See. He's the same guy. Sass.
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[personal profile] divorcing 2025-02-02 07:39 am (UTC)(link)
"We'd been drinking," Louis offers, prim for a split second before he breaks into a grin.

No, it wasn't the alcohol.

It had just been the giddy high of their connection, and the electric, adrenaline of anticipation. Of knowing that they could speak to each other, that Louis could say all the things he'd kept locked up in his chest and Daniel would hear him, understand him. Would ask questions, listen when Louis answered.

All things Daniel must know, so Louis says none of them. Instead:

"You wanna come see New Orleans with us after all this?"

All this spanning anywhere from "the end of the book tour" to "the end of this war." Us operating on the foregone conclusion that Lestat would agree to accomapny them.

New Orleans was a likely place for angry vampires to look. Louis knows it. The tour at least puts them on the move, keeps Louis out of sight.
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[personal profile] followups 2025-02-02 10:20 am (UTC)(link)
A spark. Something. Daniel isn't so sure about it, honestly, but he doesn't hold his own uncertainty against Louis. The way he sees it, Louis did desperately need someone to talk to. It had been a long time, decades, since Miss Lily. But he wasn't going to genuinely pursue her any more than he was Daniel.

Despite that, he's glad they met. Despite all of it, he's glad they met. He can't tell Armand he'd endure it again just to get here, Armand would take it the wrong way, but he can trust Louis with it. Unspoken, just felt. It was worth it.

Eyebrows go up.

"I'd love to visit New Orleans with you, but no way am I third wheeling an emotionally significant revisit. You two deserve that time to yourselves."

'Us', they've clearly talked about it. C'mon. Bro code. He can't do that to Lestat. Speaking of—

"How are you guys? Honestly."
Edited 2025-02-02 10:21 (UTC)

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