He had told Louis that he can't. Can't live with this burden alone, can't escape out from under it. Had felt it like a lightening, Louis reaching across with his words, prying some of it loose. Knows now, in this moment, it won't be so easy as that.

But that's alright. It feels better to ache and hurt in a different kind of way than the odd, paralysing grief of decades. To hold Louis' hand tightly as he feels himself partially come undone, a shivery breath coming out shallow, urgent.

He is meant to be learning about Louis and his awakening. Abruptly, all he wants is to be held and told that nothing is his fault.

But—

"Is this how you forgive me?" he asks. His tone is all fondness. "By blaming yourself?"