damnedest: (Default)
lestat de lioncourt. ([personal profile] damnedest) wrote2034-06-28 12:42 pm
divorcing: (Default)

[personal profile] divorcing 2024-12-16 02:58 am (UTC)(link)
He needs no help to rise, but Louis takes his hands anyway. The thing behind the little motion of fingers, Louis recognizes it. Can't say anything directly, but he can take him by the hands and let Lestat assist in levering him upright again.

Yes, he is hurt. Yes, Lestat deserves some reply.

Louis' thumbs draw down the backs of his hands, looking at him under the spray of water. Washed clean, skin warmer than it was before, Louis feels something in him soothed at th effect of it all.

"It's okay," Louis tells him, the motion of his thumbs continuing. Sweeping back and forth, keeping Lestat's hands caught up in his own. "It'll pass."

And then, a smile. A soft, "Look at you."

Marveling, a little. It feels surreal. A dream.
divorcing: (Default)

[personal profile] divorcing 2024-12-16 05:01 am (UTC)(link)
"I came to find you."

Home. Louis had wanted to come home.

It was New Orleans, but it was Lestat too. Inextricably linked together. Complicated, yes, but true even after all these years.

The bruises don't matter. The storm doesn't matter. All that matters is this. Them. Speaking again, seeing each other again.
divorcing: (Default)

[personal profile] divorcing 2024-12-16 05:45 am (UTC)(link)
"It is."

Because Lestat doesn't need to say it. Louis knows.

"It's real. I'm here."

How often had he dreamed Lestat? How much had he hated himself for it, before? Hated himself for the ghost of Lestat he carried in his chest. It had felt like the worst betrayal of Claudia to take comfort in even the pale dream of him, but Louis had never been able to close him out of his head.

He'd been wrong. All those years now, he'd carried all that guilt built off a lie.
divorcing: (Default)

[personal profile] divorcing 2024-12-18 01:00 am (UTC)(link)
There is some quality in Lestat's voice, his face, even the way he reaches out to touch, that makes Louis want to fold him back into his arms again.

How had he forgotten?

He had been so lost, for so long.

Overwhelming now, to feel so much all at once.

The question catches him off-guard. Uncertain of what he needs, what he would ask of Lestat. Has a memory of them sunk into their claw-footed tub together, a lifetime ago. They are far from those days.

"Help with my back," is what Louis decides on, even as his fingers curl gently around Lestat's arm. Coax him into an adjustment, the two of them side by side under the spray as Louis reaches for the shampoo bottle. "I'll be quick, then we can get out."

Though maybe it'd be simpler to stay in here, where they are separated out from all the conversations that they should have.
divorcing: (Default)

[personal profile] divorcing 2024-12-18 09:47 pm (UTC)(link)
As gentle as Lestat is, the bruises are already tender. The slight pressure makes itself known. Not unbearable, but still a deep ache exacerbated when Louis raises arms overhead to begin the process of washing his hair.

In Dubai, he had indulged. It had been a ritual, as most things were. Louis can remember Armand's hand at the nape of his neck, present, sometimes. (Is Louis thinking of San Francisco? Is he thinking of something he barely knows, but is beginning to remember?) Tonight, there is Lestat, an overwhelming presence at his back. Louis' whole focus is eaten up by him, the complicated leap of feeling each time Lestat speaks, or touches him, or draws a breath. Reminds Louis that he is fully present, and not a dream.

"Do you want to stay here?"

Is this an easy question? Maybe, maybe not. Does Lestat love New Orleans? Louis remembers him describing his affection for it, once, but what is left of that?

But it is a distraction, gives Louis a little room to breath as he rinses his hair. Considers his body, Lestat's hands at his back. How little he wants Lestat tending to him beyond what he is doing now, but cannot abide Lestat doing anything but touching him.
Edited 2024-12-18 21:58 (UTC)
divorcing: (Default)

[personal profile] divorcing 2024-12-21 01:13 am (UTC)(link)
Vanished, this sole bit of contact. It feels like a misstep, asking.

Louis turns to look at Lestat over his shoulder, lowering one arm to alleviate the twinge of bruises and tender joints.

"Okay," comes after a brief study, this glimpse of Lestat over his shoulder. Turns after, facing him more fully.

Leaving this topic in favor of twisting off the tap. Water beads across Lestat's skin, clings to Louis' body. Looking at him, Louis can't help the thought of the last time they saw each other. Lestat, watching him in the dark of that dungeon, that pit, that tower.

"I'll get you a towel," Louis offers. "Just wait for me."
divorcing: (Default)

[personal profile] divorcing 2024-12-21 02:24 am (UTC)(link)
The hurricane will pass.

They have tonight, tomorrow. A little bit of time where the world does not exist at all. Nothing but the two of them in this room.

Louis can't think of it. Not yet. He collects a towel, a glass jar of oil for his own sodden hair. Leaves one untouched for himself when he emerges properly, returns to the tub to wrap the other around Lestat.

"You can stay. I just have to finish," Louis tells him quietly.

A change. Louis had worn his hair so differently when they had been together in New Orleans, even in Paris. Lestat had been far away as styles had changed, and Louis had changed with them.

He touches Lestat's cheek. Steps past him back into the shower, naked still.
divorcing: (Default)

[personal profile] divorcing 2024-12-21 02:54 am (UTC)(link)
Practiced, the way Louis works the oil through soaked hair down to the scalp. Shakes out the excess water, emerges to the sound of hair dryer.

Motionless for long minutes, watching Lestat as water puddles around his own feet. Louis' heart tightens in his chest.

"Let me."

With a towel hanging loosely from his fingers, hand outstretched.
divorcing: (Default)

[personal profile] divorcing 2024-12-21 03:44 am (UTC)(link)
Complicated too, the way Louis offers this care.

He'd never. The ways in which they had touched and attended to each other had been so—

Specific.

Few and farther between.

The way Louis cared for him in little ways, tenderness cultivated and deepend in those long years together, fraught upon Lestat's return.

Complex now, as Louis stands naked in this room with Lestat and looks at him and thinks of the ways in which all Louis' drawn lines hadn't saved them. How his awareness of the ways they moved through the world in public had never quite been able to be barred from Louis' mind when they were in private. How some awareness lingers even now, the two of them together for the first time in so long.

"I been making some changes," Louis tells him, setting the hair dryer onto the countertop so he might use both hands to bind the towel about his waist. "Glad that you like them."

No need to speak of what Louis is shaking free of. He threads fingers into Lestat's hair, testing the length. Somewhere between his memories, but still lovely, gleaming gold even in the low lights.
divorcing: (Default)

[personal profile] divorcing 2024-12-21 09:35 pm (UTC)(link)
An innocent question. Lestat is curious.

Still, Louis can't contain the prickling defensiveness that sparks up as Lestat asks him this. The last time they saw each other, Louis had what? When Louis left New Orleans, what had remained in his wake?

And then in Paris, living off Lestat for some months, money draw from Roget's while Lestat was where? Alive, maybe in New Orleans, maybe in Paris already. Louis feels shame for it, for what he'd taken.

Says nothing right away while he wrestles with the immediate reaction. Lestat made a little cluster of product, and Louis selects one bottle to tip a pool of glossy, sweet-smelling mixture into his own palm. He chooses to work his first into Lestat's half-damp locks, then into his own wet hair, letting the quiet stretch out.

A drifting memory, Lestat smiling at him across a card table, asking: Do you not know your value?

"I'm doing real well," comes eventually, as Louis watches Lestat in the mirror. "I've got investments, bonds, real estate. I've got more money that I'll ever spend. I got a hobby, dealing art. Built up a nice collection too, things of my own."

Important, suddenly, that Lestat hears this. Whatever else Louis' life has been, there is still this. Success. Power. That Louis has rebuilt what he once gaze up.
divorcing: (Default)

[personal profile] divorcing 2024-12-22 03:46 am (UTC)(link)
"Some of it," Louis answers, fingers working through his own hair. Restoring shape, twisting here and there. "Some of what I have is in Dubai."

Not all of it. A collection housed in carefully controlled conditions elsewhere, warehoused and waiting for Louis to select from.

Some to be culled, because Louis bought it for what he was with Armand. Some for the man he'd been then, and some for Armand himself, gifts. Things that flattered their shared tastes, which Louis must now wonder: did they share tastes, even in art?

He lifts the dryer, makes a little face. Lacking, this piece of hotel provided equipment. Louis flicks it on at the lowest setting, goes to work carefully drawing the wet out of Lestat's hair.
divorcing: (Default)

[personal profile] divorcing 2024-12-22 04:43 am (UTC)(link)
Dryer discarded, Louis looks at both of them in the mirror. Storm washed from their skin, recognizable in some ways, alien in others.

"Come on," Louis says softly, to Lestat's reflection. "We should get you something to wear."

And then fed, a thing Louis hasn't considered but must now. Will they need to hunt rats? Does Lestat still feed from the vein? Would he drink from a blood bag?

Questions for after. Here and now, Louis lets his hand fall from Lestat's hair. Turns from the steamy mirror, the warmth of this room, to walk into the next. Lestat will follow, or he won't.
divorcing: (Default)

[personal profile] divorcing 2024-12-22 06:06 am (UTC)(link)
The muscles in Louis' back betray him, flexing tense at the thought of their home all dismantled, sent to auction. Over eighty years later, resenting how all their lovely things must have been scattered, snapped up and separated.

It's not that he hadn't known. It's only that it bothers him more now, that he has given himself permission to think of it clearly in a way he hasn't for a very long time.

"I could find them now," Louis says slowly. "I look for particular pieces,from time to time."

But he hadn't let himself look for any of the things that had hung in their home. All those things chosen together, arranged with such care in their home. They'd made it together. It's a loss Louis feels all over again, a knife in his chest.

He lowers himself into a crouch, unlatching a suitcase.

"If you want."

If Lestat wants. If Louis could bear it, hunting down the fragments of their old life.

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2024-12-22 07:22 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2024-12-22 23:37 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2024-12-24 01:44 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2024-12-24 05:18 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2024-12-25 03:36 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2024-12-26 01:30 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2024-12-26 03:20 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2024-12-26 06:13 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2024-12-27 02:28 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2024-12-27 04:00 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2024-12-27 23:38 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2024-12-28 01:44 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2024-12-28 06:38 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2024-12-28 20:54 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2024-12-29 01:57 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2024-12-29 04:15 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2024-12-29 07:40 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2024-12-29 18:06 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2024-12-29 23:41 (UTC) - Expand

sweats

[personal profile] divorcing - 2024-12-30 01:08 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2024-12-30 20:50 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2024-12-31 04:14 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-01-01 05:19 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-01-02 17:32 (UTC) - Expand

we did it

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-01-03 05:43 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-01-04 17:45 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-01-04 23:21 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-01-05 02:21 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-01-08 06:55 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-01-09 03:23 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-01-09 04:37 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-01-09 17:56 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-01-10 01:30 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-01-10 03:02 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-01-10 03:42 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-01-10 05:36 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-01-10 17:26 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-01-11 23:55 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-01-12 03:34 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-01-12 08:18 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-01-12 17:50 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-01-13 00:24 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-01-13 17:43 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-01-16 03:15 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-01-17 05:11 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-01-18 02:21 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-01-19 06:09 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-01-30 17:53 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-02-08 06:00 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-02-08 07:05 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-02-08 21:30 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-02-08 21:45 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-02-08 23:40 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-02-08 23:58 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-02-09 00:20 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-02-09 02:02 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-02-09 03:36 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-02-09 05:29 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-02-09 11:18 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-02-09 23:34 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-02-10 02:16 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-02-10 22:10 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divorcing - 2025-02-11 21:45 (UTC) - Expand